End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
