you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your cock deserves a montage
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize