1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
