Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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