It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
