i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she pinky promised me she was 18
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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