Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
