Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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