You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I want a musical about memes.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
