Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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