just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize