he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
two words...techno handjob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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