"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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