According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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