The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
