I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
