Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
