also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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