K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
