Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
