he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so let's talk penis.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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