i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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