yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
