Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize