I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
