I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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