I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
