Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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