I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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