just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
