lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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