is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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