My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
