I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
