is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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