think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
