Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
