I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
