Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
