Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
