May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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