she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize