oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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