You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
