margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
