ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
