my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize