I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
