did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
