so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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