Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
