Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
