ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
