D3 body, D1 cock
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
