you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
