nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
