i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
